can we transfer desires, knowing nothing else?
the pristine new soulglasses, sold to me
with promises of perfection
have numerous evident flaws.
the expense was devastating
demolishing several pieces of myself,
the ones I esteemed as foremost.
these willing was I to trade for perfection.
but conformity loses its value
when the ache for difference
punishes worse, tenfold
than its brutal consequences.
eminence becomes worthless
when pressure to triumph
becomes heavier, a score fold
than the side effects of loneliness.
honor becomes ridiculous
when better men look up
with perceptible admiration
shining out of their eyes.
the new soulglasses i have bought
are better indeed, are rooted in success.
But it hurts so much worse
than my black cracked pair.
soulglasses meaning condition of the soul.
wondering how i am supposed to enjoy the light
talking about the light
they said it was perfect, just happiness and joy
but it aint.
it took a lot to escape the darkness
i gave up some of my identity
pieces that i loved, that i said, "this is who I am."
But I would give anything for perfection. So i gave all.
being the same as everyone else sucks
when i miss being different so much
missing nonconformity hurts worse x 10
than actually being a nonconformist
people liking me sucks
when they expect me to be the best, always.
and it hurts x 20
than being lonely.
okay, how can i say im honorable
when better dudes obviously have
the idea that I am a role model for them?
i know the light is better
but sometimes it hurts more
than the darkness