"Jack. There are too many of them. Turn Back. Abort."
"I never abort." Jack zipps open his jet-black fanny pack
and put on his brand new (stolen) Gucci sunglasses.
He takes a running start and jumps like he's on Newport
Jack lands on one knee, and looks up to see
400 ninjas glaring at his jet black fanny pack
They hate fashion crimes more than you
So they whip their nun-chucks free.
Jack slowly throws his glasses to the side
Takes a grenade out of his jet black fanny pack
And throws it hard at the leeward side
He watches it explode with pride
The first ninja approaches with a nasty grin
Takes a chop at Jacks' jet black fanny pack
But Jack blocks with his fist
And punches the guy in the shin
There isn't a sound, and the guy falls on the ground
Jack pats his jet black fanny pack
"Only 150 to go," he whispers to himself.
This time three ninjas approach, and they end up in a mound.
"Ninjas! It's time to bring out the magic all-bot!"
Everyone nods and agrees, still upset about the jet black fanny pack
And out steps a gigantic robot with eight magic hands.
Jack grimaces and takes a step, charging up his Manna.
The thing jumps and does a back flip
Jack screams, "180 Fire Jet Black Fanny Pack!"
He spins in the air, and a fireball explodes from his waistline.
It spirals through the air and catches the bot in the nip
It stumbles but seems okay
Jack prepares for the next attack by rubbing his fanny pack
The robot throws a hand in the air and shouts, "Thunderaga!"
Lightning strikes from heaven, named Réne
Jack has a split second to raise his hand
And direct the lightning into his jet black fanny pack
Then out through his other hand and towards the all-bot
This takes all the Manna, and he can hardly stand
but he knows there isn't any going back.
He rushes the all-bot, disturbing his jet black fanny pack
Singed circuits spark in the waning light
And the robot rushes too, towards the ninja stack
Two Godlike figures rushing across the field
One sparking, the other barely breathing through his jet black fanny pack
Who will win this terrible battle? Only one knows
Then Jack reaches over and breaks a guys neck.
Then he got married to a nice girl, bought a house, and got a mortgage.