- Buttoning the top button of your shirt without a tie is a crime.
- Shaving the sides of your head and leaving the top long is a crime, unless you wear eyeliner.
- Wearing tall socks and shorts is crime.
- Wearing tall socks with skate shoes is a crime.
- Wearing skate shoes without skating is a crime.
- Buying a really nice board designed for hardcore use and only using it to cruise is a crime.
- Thinking that any of these are attractive is a crime.
- Wearing slacks without a tucked in *matching shirt, dark socks, and a belt that *matches your shoes is a crime.
- *Matching means two things. 1) Matches or 2) Really really does not match. Anything in between those is a crime. Today, I wore flame bob the builder pants with a nice t shirt. It was okay because it drastically didn’t match. But if I wore flame bob the builder shirts with a plaid button up, it would be a crime, because it neither matches nor drastically doesn’t match. You got me? It’s in between.
- If your hair is brown, but you have a red beard, that is not a crime. In fact, it’s awesome. Someone should pay you lots of money.